


like father, like son

by GhoulyGirly



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Children, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Hatake Kakashi Has Issues, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic, Light Angst, POV Hatake Kakashi, Parent Hatake Kakashi, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Single Parents, Unplanned Pregnancy, rins still dead in this sorry :(, single dad!kakashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhoulyGirly/pseuds/GhoulyGirly
Summary: After many years of separation, Kakashi gains custody of his 6 year old son. If only he knew how to raise a a child.[Single Dad!Kakashi AU.]
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Original Child Character(s), past Hatake Kakashi/Nohara Rin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> I’m changing the timeline a bit so Rin died when she was 15 and Kakashi was 14--all of the other events in Kakashi’s life prior to that were also upped by 2 years. Also instead of being 26 in the present he is a bit younger. Naruto and everyone is still the same age. I haven’t really thought abt how the current timeline has 2 mold to fit the story so just roll with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning.

They weren’t in love with each other—not really, at least not like _that_. They were lonely, traumatized, hormonal teenagers who found physical solace in each other on occasion. Being a shinobi turned sex and affection into a mechanical event, and made it easy to seperate body and mind. Rin and Kakashi were comfortable enough with each other to share this intimacy, though they never spoke about it. 

But when she got knocked up, neither of them knew what to do.

Kakashi thought about going to Minato, but decided against it, with the excuse that he would be adding unnecessary stress onto a man who already had too much on his plate. In reality, Kakashi was just afraid of seeing disappointment on his former teacher’s face. He acted like he didn't care what Minato thought about him, but it was all just a façade; Minato was the closest thing to a father he had. 

Rin almost got an abortion, but didn’t go through with it at the last moment, erasing all relief that Kakashi had temporarily felt. He asked her why she was keeping it, insensitively, and she nearly slapped him, but eventually told him why: 

_"We're shinobi, Kakashi. I won't live long. This might be my only chance to be a mom."_

_She looked away, frowning, avoiding his gaze._

_"It's selfish, I know. Having a child when I know it will lose me prematurely."_

_Kakashi didn't know what to say._

The Nohara clan was small and tight-knit. When they found out about the pregnancy, they were initially angry, but unconditionally accepted Rin. She never told them who the father was and the identity was never made public, but her brother and mother knew. Lucky for Kakashi, Rin’s father was dead and couldn’t maim him.

Rin’s mother decided to take care of the baby once it was born. Kakashi was never brought into the discussion, and though that would be terrible for many, he was actually grateful. As bad as it sounds, he didn't want to have to deal with the child. He wasn’t ready to be fully responsible for a baby, and he didn’t want to be. 

When the baby was born, Rin and her mother named him Satoshi. He weighed 7.1 pounds and apparently didn't cry when he came into the world, though Kakashi wasn’t present for his birth. He visited the next day, when things had calmed down some. Rin was understanding, but her brother was not: the first thing Kakashi remembers seeing when he entered the compound was the glare that Rin’s brother gave him. The second was Rin’s exhausted face, forever youthful in his memory, and the gentle ferocity with which she cradled Satoshi. The third was Satoshi’s squishy face. Kakashi never knew that something could be so ugly yet beautiful at the same time. He was hesitant to admit the fondness he felt upon first seeing his son, but couldn’t help the small smile when Satoshi gripped onto his finger. After that, Kakashi visited whenever he didn't have a mission. 

Rin was looked down upon by a great deal of the village after that, though most people didn’t pay much attention to her in the first place. Kakashi and Rin both supposed that was a good thing. 

When Minato first met Satoshi, he made no indication that he judged Rin. (Or Kakashi for that matter. He never could figure out if Minato knew or not. Some of his comments and expressions made it seem like he knew more than he let on, but he never conceded.) Minato’s son Naruto even met Satoshi, though Kakashi would later find out that Naruto was too young to remember it.

The peace did not last long.

A few months after Satoshi’s birth, Rin went back on duty; and not even a few weeks after that, Rin proved her own prediction correct when Kakashi killed her. The Noharas wouldn’t let Kakashi visit after that. Kakashi didn’t have the strength to protest, and even if he did, he couldn’t anyway; they were right for shutting him out. He killed a member of their clan, of their family. And he made a crappy father, anyhow. The only way that Rin’s mother would let him near Satoshi again was in death. 

Then, Minato died, and Kakashi had no one. So he joined ANBU.


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi meets his son, 6 years later.

He had thought about Satoshi a lot during his years in ANBU. He even stealthily checked up on his son. Satoshi seemed content with the Noharas, as he always had; they were far more equipped to raise a child than Kakashi, and provided the best possible environment for Satoshi to live in. Kakashi acknowledged this, and never interfered. 

A week after he was removed from ANBU, shortly after his 20th birthday, Rin’s mother died from tuberculosis. Not even a week after, Kakashi heard news that the Nohara clan were going to put Satoshi in an orphanage. Kakashi wouldn't have that. Loneliness had plagued his own childhood, and even his present, which he reluctantly knew contributed to his own desire to adopt Satoshi. Kakashi was broken, but if there was _one thing_ he needed to do in this godforsaken world, it would be to stop his son from ending up like him.

Kakashi entered the compound for the first time in years; there were even less people than before, but he could still recognize Rin’s brother, fully grown and with children of his own now. If one thing remained the same, though, it was the leer in his eyes, and the violent daydreams that were hosted behind them. The guilt that haunted Kakashi seemed even more prominent in that moment than it usually did.

It didn’t take long for Kakashi to realize why the Noharas were relinquishing Satoshi so fast. Rin’s brother had a nagging wife who was pressuring him into giving up Satoshi, it seemed, and the long-suffering clan did not have much else to offer him. 

Satoshi was clinging onto his aunt’s robes, looking up at Kakashi curiously, if not warily. _Being skeptical of strangers was a good instinct,_ Kakashi had thought. In contrast to his uncle, it seemed as if almost none of Satoshi's characteristics had stayed the same. Now 6 years old, he even had the signature Nohara tattoos on his cheeks. The only thing that resembled Kakashi was his eyes—not the shape, but the color—and his chin. All of Satoshi's other features reminded Kakashi of Rin.

Kakashi hadn’t the first clue how to interact with a child, except for some things Rin had told him once when she was pregnant. 

“ _I was reading about it in this book. Interacting with kids is kind of like interacting with a patient. You need to get down to their level, talk to them calmly, that sort of thing._ ” 

Kakashi was not usually very receptive to her child talk, which he now regretted. Maybe Rin would be happy to know that Kakashi at least remembered _something._ Rin was so eager and prepared for parenthood, even at such a young age. Kakashi dismayed in knowing he was nothing like her.

He crouched down and smiled at Satoshi. However, since he was wearing a mask, only his eyes crinkled. He slipped the fabric off his face, figuring there was no reason why he shouldn’t be completely honest with his own child. (If it even counted as honesty, or if Satoshi even counted as his child.)

He spoke with Satoshi for a while, trying to readjust and learn everything about him. He learned that Satoshi liked the color orange, the shade that appeared in sunsets and sunrises. He liked stories with happy endings, like any child does, and he liked humorous ones despite being a little tone-deaf to humor himself. Not that Kakashi could blame him—he was only six after all. 

Satoshi couldn't remember Rin or Kakashi, but his family had told him many stories of Rin. Though they pointedly left out stories about Kakashi, of course. He couldn’t blame them for that, either; he was the direct cause of their distress. He took Rin away from them, from his own son, and—selfishly, he noted—from himself.


	3. iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoshi comes home.

Satoshi was a very inquisitive child. He wasn’t afraid to ask questions. One day, when Kakashi was visiting and getting to know Satoshi, he was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of one.

“You’re my father, right?”

Kakashi did not know why it was so hard to answer such a straightforward query. Maybe it was because he barely considered himself a father. Maybe it was because of the guilt from abandoning his son and taking his mother from him. Likely, it was a combination.

“Yes. I am.” He responded steadily, and waited for the next question.

Satoshi looked at him thoughtfully. 

“Did you know my mom?”

Being so young, he clearly didn’t understand how conception worked. It would be essentially impossible for a man to not know the mother of his own child at all. And since no one from the Nohara clan had informed Satoshi about Kakashi prior to his initial visit, but had told endless stories centering around Rin all of Satoshi's life, it was a reasonable thing for him to wonder. 

“Yes, I knew her.” 

Kakashi waited for another question, but when one didn’t come, he continued speaking. 

“She loved you very much, Satoshi, even though she did not know you long.” 

“That’s what Grandma always told me,” Satoshi said simply. “Did my mom love you, too?” 

Oh, boy. How should he answer that? Kakashi was torn between telling Satoshi a sugar-coated version of it now and explaining the complex reality later, or just getting it over with. He realized, not a few seconds later, that there was an answer both honest _and_ convenient. One that he had forgotten, and was still hard for him to believe. 

“Yes, she did.”

Satoshi gave him a small smile. His smiles were uncommon, but not for an absence of happiness. He just wasn’t a very expressive child. That reminded Kakashi a little of himself, though it still seemed like a different brand compared to his own childhood.

Seeing this as an opportunity, Kakashi asked him: “Can I touch your head?” 

Satoshi was also not very physically affectionate with Kakashi, due to barely knowing him—so he was a little surprised when Satoshi nodded. He reached down and ruffled Satoshi’s hair like his own father used to do to him; It was one of the only ways Kakashi knew how to share his affection. He would have to learn more.

A few days later, Rin’s brother decided that it was time for Satoshi to leave. Kakashi felt another pang of culpability at seeing Satoshi cry. He hoped he would be better than an orphanage, but he couldn’t help the intermittent waves of doubt and self-loathing that washed over him. At least Satoshi did not seem upset that Kakashi was the one who he would be living with from now on. He helped carry his favorite toys, and the furniture that the Noharas were generous enough to donate. 

Kakashi took Satoshi home that evening—‘home’ being his new albeit dingy apartment. It wasn’t decorated and it looked like no one had lived there. (He’s a ninja, after all.) Once they entered, he glanced down at Satoshi, trying to read what he thought of it, but he gave no indication. Strange how it was harder to read his own child’s face than that of an enemy-nin, Kakashi thought. But it was not the same dynamic, whatsoever. For one, parents could have actual conversations with their children; Kakashi was still getting used to this. 

“What do you think of the place?”

Satoshi walked slowly over to the couch and pushed on the cushion with his hands. He looked back at Kakashi. 

“Can I jump on the couch?”

Kakashi blinked. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.”

Satoshi smiled again and said, after flopping onto the couch, “Then I like it!” 

Children are unpredictable, Kakashi learned.


	4. iv

Satoshi started to have nightmares almost immediately after moving in. Kakashi hoped they didn’t happen because he hated his new life, but because he had not become accustomed to it yet and still missed his old home. 

Satoshi’s quiet sobs tore Kakashi from his slumber, abruptly tearing him from his sleep. Kakashi had plenty of experience dealing with his own nightmares, but never with someone else’s, much less a 6-year-old’s. He contemplated whether to interfere or not, but this contemplation only lasted a few moments, before he realized he couldn’t take the noises of pain much longer. Quietly, he put his hand on Satoshi's shoulder and gently shook him into consciousness. 

When Satoshi woke up, he blinked up at Kakashi slowly, like he wasn’t aware of his own turmoil. Kakashi blinked back at him, suddenly feeling out of his element now that his son was awake. 

“Kakashi?” Satoshi mumbled. “Why’d you wake me up?”

“You were having a nightmare.” He responded. 

“Oh.”

Kakashi took a gamble.

“Can you remember it?” 

Satoshi looked straight forward at the wall, but his eyes were unfocused. He was remembering. 

“Yes.” Satoshi confessed, and brought his knees to his chest. 

_ Now what do I say? _

“Would you like to… talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Satoshi didn’t have the same trauma that Kakashi had. Most likely his nightmares were the innocent kind that plagued young children, ones where the monsters didn’t have human faces and the antagonists were impossible to relate to. 

“That’s fine. I don’t like talking about my nightmares either.”

Satoshi turned to him, surprised. “You get nightmares too?”

Kakashi nodded. “All the time.”

“How do you get rid of them?”

Instead of saying the truth—that he  _ didn’t  _ get rid of them _ — _ Kakashi decided to evade the question with a different, less depressing truth. “When I was little, I would go to my dad. That’s how I fixed them.”

Satoshi nodded, digesting the information.

“Can I sleep with you?”

For some reason, that made Kakashi’s chest warm. He nodded, and guided Satoshi to his bed by foot. Satoshi did not appreciate being picked up and carried around, though sometimes Kakashi wishes he did.

Once they were both laying down, Kakashi expected Satoshi to cuddle up next to him, but he didn’t. He turned away and left plenty of room between them. Kakashi observed him, wondering if Satoshi was uncomfortable, but as the minutes passed he began to hear gentle snoring. Kakashi let out a small sigh of relief.  _ My son doesn’t hate me _ .

Though Satoshi had drifted back to sleep, Kakashi couldn’t. He was scared of crushing him, and had begun down another of his twilight rabbit holes, full of ‘what if’s and ‘why then’s.

_ Why, Rin? Why am I still alive, when you would be so much better at this? When you had a whole life to live, and I’m just scraping by? _

_ You know why _ , another voice in his head said. 

Kakashi closed his eyes.

_ Yes. I do _ .

The next morning, Kakashi was relieved to find he hadn’t suffocated Satoshi. He was not as relieved, however, after the breakfast he tried to prepare for them engulfed into flames and he had to get takeout ramen instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *comes back nearly a year later* hi guys


End file.
